TOEFL Essay #006: Do you support building a factory in your hometown?

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Remember: Most essays will contain some mistakes. In some cases, TestMagic has modified the essays so that they would be more suitable for the purposes of the TestMagic web site.

TestMagic estimated score:  6.0/6.0:

This essay follows the standard pattern of a good TOEFL essay--it has simple, clear points that are supported with examples. I particularly like the way the writer was very specific about how water pipes would have to be replaced; this detail makes the essay seem well planned and makes its writer seem insightful.

TestMagic has edited this essay to make it score 6.0. The original essay did not mention the name of the town, leading to a decrease in vividness.

 

I am from Arroz e Feijao, a small town in the northeast of Brazil. Building a factory in there will bring a lot of advantages and disadvantages, but I believe that Arroz e Feijao will mostly benefit from the building of a new factory because it is largely populated by poor people and the factory would bring many benefits to this small town. However, of course, a factory has disadvantages as well. 

As you know, factories usually bring pollution. If this factory is not managed very effectively and efficiently according to specific rules, it's prone to polluting the local air and water. What's more, factories usually make noise. Beside clean drinkable water and fresh air, an ideal community should be quiet. If the factory cannot maintain this situation to the community, it will not last long. A factory that is too noisy or pollutes too much will eventually be relocated to a new area.

On the other hand, a factory could bring a lot of benefits to the community. So I would support the plan to build a factory to my community for all the reasons I will describe below.

First of all, the factory's construction will surely improve the local infrastructure. To run smoothly, the factory will have to have a steady, reliable supply of water and electricity. Some old pipes will be changed, and some facilities will be renovated. The residents' living standard get improved as a result of these widespread changes, an important benefit in Arroz e Feijao, where many people do not have access to clean water.

Secondly, to make the employee commute more convenient, the local roads will have to be rebuilt and broadened, resulting in improved public transportation. The town's residents can take a public bus to go shopping or go to work. As a result, air pollution and fuel consumption might be reduced.

Most important, a factory's establishment will bring up a lot of employment opportunities for the community. A factory need experts from various fields. The residents can take just a few minutes to go to the factory to work. So, the local residents can get great benefits from this factory.

Generally speaking, I agree with the plan to build a factory near my community. If the factory can be managed successfully, the factory and local residents can have mutual benefit.