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TestMagic estimated score:
This essay follows the standard
pattern of a good TOEFL essay--it has simple, clear points that are
supported with examples. I particularly like the way the writer was very
specific about how water pipes would have to be replaced; this detail
makes the essay seem well planned and makes its writer seem insightful.
TestMagic has edited this essay to
make it score 6.0. The original essay did not mention the name of the
town, leading to a decrease in vividness.
|I am from Arroz e Feijao, a small town in the northeast of
Brazil. Building a factory in there will bring a lot of advantages and
disadvantages, but I believe that Arroz e Feijao will mostly benefit from
the building of a new factory because it is largely populated by poor
people and the factory would bring many benefits to this small town.
However, of course, a factory has disadvantages as well.
As you know, factories usually bring pollution. If this factory is not
managed very effectively and efficiently according to specific rules, it's
prone to polluting the local air and water. What's more, factories usually
make noise. Beside clean drinkable water and fresh air, an ideal community
should be quiet. If the factory cannot maintain this situation to the
community, it will not last long. A factory that is too noisy or pollutes
too much will eventually be relocated to a new area.
On the other hand, a factory could bring a lot of benefits to the
community. So I would support the plan to build a factory to my community
for all the reasons I will describe below.
First of all, the factory's construction will surely improve the local
infrastructure. To run smoothly, the factory will have to have a steady,
reliable supply of water and electricity. Some old pipes will be changed,
and some facilities will be renovated. The residents' living standard get
improved as a result of these widespread changes, an important benefit in
Arroz e Feijao, where many people do not have access to clean water.
Secondly, to make the employee commute more convenient, the local roads
will have to be rebuilt and broadened, resulting in improved public
transportation. The town's residents can take a public bus to go shopping
or go to work. As a result, air pollution and fuel consumption might be
Most important, a factory's establishment will bring up a lot of
employment opportunities for the community. A factory need experts from
various fields. The residents can take just a few minutes to go to the
factory to work. So, the local residents can get great benefits from this
Generally speaking, I agree with the plan to build a factory near my
community. If the factory can be managed successfully, the factory and
local residents can have mutual benefit.